It’s also kind of incoherent–a pastiche of performance, dance sequences and costumes for costumes’ sakes. But since Gaga is some kind of Russian nesting doll of pure expression and radio-friendly hooks–”art’s in pop culture in me”–we know that even her seemingly random fashion and beauty decisions have artistic value.
Using our two and a half semesters of art history class at the junior college, we’re here to guide you through some of the video’s most noteworthy looks.
1. This makeup
She’s a blank motherfuckin’ canvas!
2. The bare-faced makeup
It’s not about the mascara, it’s about the mascara she’s not wearing.
3. She’s Little Edie and Marilyn Monroe
It’s a scathing commentary on fame and stuff!
4. Pixie cut, cheekbone contour lines
Oh, she’s also a bird.
5. She emerges from a giant top hat wearing wacky clothes
Is that Alexander Wang‘s Balenciaga collection under there?
6. …And she has a goddamn tail
We almost forgot to mention.
7. She wears a clamshell bikini.
We always thought Botticelli’s Venus needed more volume.
8. There’s a bit of nip
It just wouldn’t be art without a bit of nip!
9. She has wings
Would actually fit right in on the Victoria’s Secret runway.
10. It kind of looks like she’s wearing a prosthetic penis
It’s actually one of the same hands that wraps around her breasts and neck but WHATEVER #ART.
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